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If you cast Assault, the resulting spell is a red spell with a mana value of 1

To make matters worse, Zangief has indestructible on your turn and must be blocked if able

Other times, the text tells a joke based on the card, or even includes quotes from Wizards of the Coast staff or MTGs creators

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Hokori, Dust Drinker Maybe Im biased because I watched Ju-on: The Grudge sometime while researching this, but the art on Hokori, Dust Drinker gave me pause nope, nope, nope, nope